Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Readiness and Acceptance is a Process

In the past few weeks, I have had the opportunity to talk to several parents who seem seem to be in various stages of acceptance. It made me think more about advocating in terms of readiness and acceptance.

The law provides various services to our children. We have every reason to expect that those services will be provided. When that does not happen, we want to kick butt and sue the authorities. However, when we get into those kinds of conflicts the real victim is a child because nothing is accomplished toward achieving appropriate goals.

That sounds simple but it is not. Everything within us as parents says we have to fight for our children. It is very difficult to let go and try it another way. That takes being ready to accept that we aren’t getting anywhere in the fight and negotiation needs to happens in a different. The idea that we should have to document and put ourselves in the position of those who hold the keys to the services our child needs, is a hard pill to swallow.

I understand that well. Billy Ray was in his late teens when I finally accepted that and started trying to regroup. Things might have been different for Billy Ray if I had used the advocacy methods in Parenting Your Complex Child sooner. I wasn’t ready.

It is a part of coming into acceptance. Just as with acceptance it is a process.

Until next time,
Peggy Lou Morgan
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1 comment:

Scattered Mom said...

You are so right in this post. For two years we fought tooth and nail with our son's school district, until we finally just up and moved. I look back now and have so many regrets, mostly that we didn't just cut our losses and homeschool him sooner instead of fighting-but like you said, hindsight is 20/20. Too often we get caught in the fight and forget that what is important isn't winning, it's what's best for our children.